We dropped the Winfields off at the market and Sister M took us to another neighboring town to the woodcarver's shop where I had fallen in love with these two carvings.
At present the plan is to hang the fish above the door in the kitchen that goes to the garage. It is such a good match of the colors I use in the room. I am going to stain and lacquer the lilies in the basket to match some of the other wood in the living room and put it above the door to our bedroom that is shorter than the other doors in the room.
My goal as we have traveled through the years has been to bring home things that are more artistic rather than the traditional tourist collections. I think that these two fit my goal.
I have had the opportunity to touch some lives and do some deep learning as we have served here. Everyone knows that I am here because I wanted my husband to be given this opportunity. I make little effort to learn Spanish and don't work in initiatory for that reason. I have had some chances to make some difference in my own way, however, that have made me feel that there is a reason that I am also here.
Part of being in a different country for me is getting to know the people. I have already shown a picture of Sister Flohr and have mentioned getting haircuts and going nativity shopping with her. She was speaking to the English speaking sisters almost never and one would have guessed that she was clueless about English. As I have pushed her to talk with me and have done things with her I have realized that she understands English quite well and can speak it some. One day she said something like, "How is my friend, my best friend." to me at the temple. I was honored that she would think so but at the same time felt concern that someone who has had so little contact would be her "best" friend. I recognized a need for her to have more friends with the sisters that she works with and wanted to help, if possible.
A few days later a sister who came from Canada about six weeks before we came told me of leaving her temple shift early and coming home crying. She wondered if there was something wrong with her that none of the Guatemalan sisters seemed to like her. It made me so sad. No one should feel that way even if it isn't real. I decided that I would have these two couples over for dinner on Monday. We had a good dinner and a fun visit. During the meal Sister Flohr suggested that she could teach me Spanish and I could teach her English. I countered with the idea that the Flohrs and Jensons should be the ones to teach each other since they would be together longer. They took up the idea and they have each already been to each other's apartments to study together. I hope that it will give them both a great friendship.
I feel such love at the temple. I have been told that I am beautiful, in English no less, and "linda" which means beautiful or pretty in Spanish so often that I could almost believe it. I sometimes have to hold myself back a little from having fun with the sisters and trying to make them have a happy time while they are serving. I have been asked over and over why we are going home and if we can't come back. As I leave my shift and throw kisses at the sisters they often call back, "I love you."
Another reason that I know that I am here happened this week as I worked in the clothing area with a lovely little sister. She speaks English very well and we were having an interesting discussion which tied closely to another I had experience earlier in the week. She made me promise that I would not tell anyone what she told me, even my husband or the Normans. I don't know her name but I still do want to respect her desire. We talked first about loosing children and she told me about losing twins that she so desperately wanted to have. She said that it wasn't until later that she was able to have peace and know that the Lord knew more than she knew and that if He felt it was better for them not to come she could learn to trust him. I told her of my two losses at five month pregnancy and how the Lord had blessed me with peace with both of them knowing that it was in His hand. For some reason I told her next that I had been through a divorce and that I had prayed and prayed that Tim would change and want to be a husband to me and father to my children but then one day I realized that I was asking the Lord to take away his agency and that day when I went to the temple I asked that he would do the right thing for me and our family. That night he called and asked for a divorce. She was overwhelmed and confided in me things that she has not shared with others. I will say this much, her husband is not honest with Church leaders and currently holds a temple recommend, (which I guess he never uses.) What the Bishop has heard from him has not been the truth. She thanked me over and over for talking with her and said that she had received answers to things she had come to the temple wanting to know. I do not believe that it was by mistake that we worked alone together for an extended time that day.
She has been in so many thoughts and prayers this last few days and it is almost uncanny the articles that people have put on facebook or the questions about others that I have been asked also to share in the few days since that time that verify that there are truly many women whose stories are not believed either because leaders can't believe that those things of the men that they know, they chose to believe the lies that the men tell, or they don't carefully listen. Of course there is so often another side in arguments and disappointments in struggling marriages but men having affairs, abusing their wives or being dishonest can make a very one-sided marriage no matter what the partner tries or does. So many women cannot leave because they cannot support themselves or they have been belittled so that they see themselves as worthless.
I have had a personal spiritual growth experience as I have tried to understand something that is operational in a temple that just doesn't seem right or fair to me. I have struggled with it for years. This week an answer came in a unique way. I have tried it explain in discussions about gays and lesbians that I believe that it is their personal test and that possibly they even agreed to it before they came here. My thinking is that it is hard and not "fair" from a worldly perspective but neither is it fair for girls to never have a chance to marry or people to be born with painful diseases or disfigurement. This life is not fair. BUT eternity is. The answer to my question is: WAIT, it will be fair. You are judging fairness by this world but there is a much bigger picture. Then you will understand.
Tonight we had a welcome/goodbye for a new couple coming and two others leaving. As we were leaving the President of the CCM's (MTC) wife came up to me and said something like, " I just want you to know that you are a light at the temple." It made me feel good that despite my not being able to speak my presence is positive.
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